i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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