I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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