I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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