this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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