it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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