No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also, beer. Big fan.
i've created a new STD.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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