id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you didnt know i had herpes?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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