Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
