so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
