i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
