I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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