How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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