giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
