I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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