she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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