I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
