his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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