Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
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Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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