He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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