The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize