she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
