Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
