Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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