i need an iv and a liver transplant
now i know why i became what i already was.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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