Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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