Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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