Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
