I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize