Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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