I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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