My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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