I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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