...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize