I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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