So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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