I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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