dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
