Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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