i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The power of my boobs compel you
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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