Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
