sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
