i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
