i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
