did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
