1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She tied me up with her honor cords...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
