I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize