Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
