I heard we made out
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
