Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
