So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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