So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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