1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
