I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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