yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
