He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
