I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
