hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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