Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I looked at my own cervix.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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