i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
