My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
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I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
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Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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