My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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