4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
