i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
