you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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