Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
