Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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