The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
